I thought i was entering myself into a beautiful comfy zone life without being realized i was actually squeezed by all the external bloody matters that i ACTUALLY care less about but did EFFECTS me big in life.
As the saying goes,"Life isn't a bed of roses". I've heard that and i had experienced it. But not until i came to a level which i could feel the thorns of roses penetrating deep into my skin and directly to my vessels. And indeed i was beginning to feel the torture of life within.
Having said that, Life is actually a bumpy journey on the way to a blissful ending; I guess i had to make myself clear that, i will be encountering much difficulties in life and bare all the consequences by giving it a solution..And it will be a daily routine which in the end i will find out that i wasn't doing anything challenging in life due to the non-stop routine which i was use to doing....and that's where i will stand tall and find out how strong i was; to combat in the battlefield of surviving.
Respect
I surely believe out there lies a million tons of fathers who are being idolized by their kids. I wish i was one of them.
When i was young, age of 8, i still remembered asking my dad (VERY strict and stern) a box of cornflakes. With an abrupt and harsh tone, he said, "That cornflakes will not make you rich!". As a young child, i wanted to eat something that my tummy has long desired. I waited for months to have the guts asking him to buy the BOX. But, i failed my mission. I was hurt and it caused a great bruise in the inner part of me.
I was always scolded for being clumsy (which i was)and irresponsible... I was scolded for not being SMART and useless. I was scolded for being lazy, doing awful things that was just out of the box. I became a timid, quite person during my primary's and regain maximum power of being disobedient as the age increases..(There are more stories to be included but i'll save that for my "SOMEDAY, I HOPE, YOU'll UNDERSTAND" a future book yet to be published:)
I shifted into a zany maniac and people laugh at my beings. People adored me in times of my chaotic self esteem. I didn't have the natural gift of making people liking me but it was the undivided feelings which are full of non-stop commotions that pushed me into the character. And it became permenant in me! I became a loud and outspoken person (depending on the situation) -I was still quite fit to be a normal person.
I didn't realized that i was facing a hardship in a realationship. I guess i was just a little kid, too hard to comprehend at times. But that FEELING has yet to be cured till today. I hope and i pray hard that my Chrismas Gift for this year is To: Be healed and Open up the persons' heart- i want to learn to LOVE!
P/s: Thanks mom! For being there and sharing all the goofy stuffs:) You really taught me what LIFE is all about. And i have learnt much from you and i can't take no more.. I should be on my quest alone, so i could unravel the paths . I'm good on my own. Thanks for shoving me off half way...I'll do the rest:)
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